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Dance of Intimacy, by Harriet Lerner
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In The Dance of Intimacy, the bestselling author of The Dance of Anger outlines the steps to take so that good relationships can be strengthened and difficult ones can be healed. Taking a careful look at those relationships where intimacy is most challenged--by distance, intensity, or pain--she teaches us about the specific changes we can make to achieve a more solid sense of self and a more intimate connectedness with others. Combining clear advice with vivid case examples, Dr. Lerner offers us the most solid, helpful book on intimate relationships that both women and men may ever encounter.
- Sales Rank: #4638853 in Books
- Brand: Brand: HarperAudio
- Published on: 1990-05-17
- Released on: 1990-05-17
- Formats: Abridged, Audiobook
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 2
- Dimensions: .78" h x 4.38" w x 7.00" l, .22 pounds
- Binding: Audio Cassette
- Used Book in Good Condition
From Publishers Weekly
This sensible self-help book draws on family-systems therapy in recommending thoughtful "self-focus" for women stuck in difficult relationships with either mates or families. Emphasizing that "a truly intimate relationship is one in which we can be who we are, which means being open about ourselves," Lerner ( The Dance of Anger ; Women in Therapy ) highlights the importance of women defining themselves, their needs and limits, rather than reacting to anxiety unthinkingly--either by emotionally distancing themselves from problems or by overreacting. A staff psychologist and psychotherapist at the Menninger Clinic, Lerner illustrates her points with case studies from her family as well as her practice. To explore what unhelpful patterns of behavior may be passed down from past generations, she advises creating a genogram, or family diagram, going back to a person's grandparents or earlier. Lerner's book presumes at least an acquaintance with professional jargon but should be accessible to most readers of pop psychology.
Copyright 1989 Reed Business Information, Inc.
Review
“A wise and compassionate book that will teach the reader much about the complex emotions our family and love relationships engender.” (Lillian B. Rubin, Ph.D., author of Intimate Strangers)
“Subtle and literate, The Dance of Intimacy is like a long, revealing conversation with a wise and compassionate friend.” (Maggie Scarf)
“Dr. Lerner has a truly remarkable ability to analyze our problems with intimacy. She has written a hopeful, respectful, and transforming book.” (Carol C. Nadelson, M.D., former president of the American Psychiatric Association)
About the Author
Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.
Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.
Most helpful customer reviews
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Male reader review
By Ed Speartooth
This is a theory of relationships book, not a how to book. It is well organized, systematically written. Written from a female perspective, but the issues are recognizable by men with spouses or sisters in the workforce.
Clear warnings by the author that presenting problem and solution histories in one chapter makes things look easier than they are. Enough stories without "happy endings" to realistically present difficulties.
Have read one dance book before, fear. I am considering reading another, anger, in the near future. Recommended by psychologist treating me for depression when I brought up marital concerns.
0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
This book surprised me in a good way. It has not only good insight on ...
By Cliente de Amazon
This book surprised me in a good way. It has not only good insight on how women can achieve healthy intimate relationships but it depicts great examples of how other women achieved this. Lerner also comments on the social context of the women she is talking about; at times she talks about feminism and makes parallelisms between change in the social structures and change in intimate relationships. I recommend this book greatly.
7 of 7 people found the following review helpful.
A Wonderful Book About Relationships
By Fairbanks Reader - Bonnie Brody
As a clinical social worker and marriage and family therapist, I can think of no one who writes about relationship dynamics as well as Harriet Lerner. I have used this book as a resource for many of my clients.
In 'Dance of Intimacy', the author discusses issues such as under- and over-functioning. The less our partner does, the more we do. The more slack we pick up, the less our partner does. She deals with setting limits for this and decreasing enabling behaviors.
Ms. Lerner also discusses distancing and pursuit. Often in relationships, when a person is pursued, they pull away. However, if their partner does not pursue them, they end up wanting more intimacy. The author deals with this common dynamic and explains the root causes of it.
She gives good advice about approaching hot issues in the relationship, offering ways to improve communication and moving forward. She also has an excellent chapter on dealing with differences between you and your partner.
I highly recommend this book for everyone, especially women.
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